During this time of physical distancing a lot of us have made the choice to stay at home in an effort to slow down the pandemic. However in this time of slowing down and in a sense stillness I find that in me a lot of old and new wounds, anger, hatred and desire for revenge and justice are starting to bubble to the surface. If you read my previous blog you can sort of understand why.
On a run, I found my soul particularly agitated at the injustices me and my family have had to endure, the pain, loss and deaths. In the background the song Resurrection by Nicol Sponberg (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UnfapqiQyTs) was playing. I honestly wondered is such a thing as personal daily resurrection possible, can such a thing really happen, if so where does all the pain and anger go to, where do the feelings of justice, hatred, revenge and vengeance find their target. To whom are the feelings that God created within man find their full expression and fulfillment. In frustration, I prayed God, I can’t do this, I don’t know what to do with this anger, and I want it’s full expression to come to pass.
An idea started forming in my head (I hesitate to say God spoke to me but He certainly inspired that train of thinking). I felt that perhaps God was calling me to pour out all my anger and hatred into the cup of his wrath. All the boiling feelings of indignation and demands of justice towards other people, God was saying bring it all in and add it to the cup of my wrath. I believe He keeps inviting us to pour it all in, from the desire that the perpetrator should go through some minor inconvenience to the deepest darkest acts of violence our minds and souls can imagine that would mean justice for us. He tells us to bring it all in until we are satisfied, until we feel vindicated that justice will be served.
And in as much God magnifies the glory and beauty of man, it is worth reasoning that God also magnifies the wrath and feelings of justice and desire for vengeance in man. Perhaps this is why it’s written "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord (Romans 12:19). Because all the darkest imaginations or punishment our hearts can conceive, God takes all of it and magnifies it to new depths and new levels of horror until justice is served. Not only does God take our desire for justice and vengeance, He also takes his righteous desire for justice and vengeance towards sin and adds it in. Not only that, He takes the desire for justice and vengeance of the entire humanity and adds it to the cup of His wrath, all off our pain is amplified by His, all our anger and wrath, greatly multiplied by His. Until the cup of his anger and wrath is boiling and steaming, putrid and vile, full of pain and horror meant for all the evil and aggressors of the world.
But then GOD does the unexpected He takes the cup of all the desire for revenge and vengeance, His and mine, God’s and humanities, the boiling acid that represents all the hatred for sin and pain and the aggressors in the world. And God starts drinking it, everything meant for my enemy, and for me as well. For I too have caused pain and damage to others and there is a warrant for vengeance against me in that cup, not only between other people and me, but also between God and me, God’s wrath towards me.
God drinks the entire cup, through unimaginable agony and pain and horror, nobody supporting Him or giving Him strength, in darkness and humiliation, God drinks the cup. All the hatred and justice of sin, burning his tongue and throat, bringing agony to his mind, soul and body. Piercing His hands and feet, lacerating His back, and breaking His face, in nakedness and shame while hanging on a tree, God drinks my vengeance and desires of justice.
He drinks all of it, every single drop, until there is nothing left.
After having poured all our anger and hatred of another person in that cup, all there is left for the perpetrator from us is love and mercy. Perhaps this is why forgiveness is a crucial aspect of the Christian faith, because to forgive someone is to have faith that God bore all our pain and sorrow, and to believe that my pain and sorrow has found it’s complete fulfillment and expression. And that my singular humanity duty to the rest of mankind is to simply love.